| The Rest of My Life |
[07 Dec 2009|02:35pm] |
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LTJ- Let Her Go |
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I'm interviewing Less Than Jake in T-minus 2.5 hours.
I might puke from the nervousness.
Or, better yet "I might break soon"...what I was even yesterday doesn't compare to the next 7 hours.
I love journalism!!! If I could legally marry my career, journalism/publication/writing/reporting would be the only thing I'd willingly commit to.
Don't forget to breathe when you watch your life fall into place otherwise you might miss watching it happen.
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| 22 and confused...continued |
[06 Dec 2009|10:33pm] |
After the James fight. Angela and I go back to my place and she tells me all the things she hated about him which, truth be told, are the only things that make him interesting in my eyes.
to round up that 5 hour conversation of James bashing basically it came down to a lack of respect for me, he has empty eyes, his words hold no meaning when he says them,and he couldn't be more clueless about me and how I'm feeling nor does he care.
I wake up the next morning to my phone blaring. My inbox and voicemail are full. none of which were from Morg's which kinda bummed me out but whatever, shake it off.
So I text him, something light and quippy (nobody likes heavy conversation or a battle first thing in the morning). He responds and eventually i get to the heart of the matter, "are you coming tonight for my birthday dinner?" he gave me the run around and I said well James is uninvited after last night. Then all of sudden he thinks he will be able to make time for it. fancy that.
So Ange and I make reservations at Flemings. Ange and I rock dresses and heels. Morgan shows up in 'business casual' and he was like, "I said I'd be here, right? well happy birthday."
Ange liked morgan instantly, by the way he treated me, by how he and I would bicker and flirt, and his overall genuine attitude.
So we enjoy a nice dinner and a bottle of Merlot. towards the end of dinner Morgan and I end up chugging the wine on the way out the door (good to the last drop).
We walk over to one of my favorite cute little irish pubs for a beer.
Then we head over to Sammy's. the second i walk in the door there was a long island Iced tea in my hand. then 3 or 4 or 5. and some redheaded sluts and jagerbombs. Ange and Morgs had a long conversation while I was kickin it with my bar buddies. after my last shot I switched to beer then I took my shoes off and black out.
I woke up by my car laying on the gravel and morgan is sitting next to me holding my hair out of my face talking to me about getting back in the bar to find Ange.
I didn't throw up, I was just tired of the heat and standing. I was in my dress and it felt really good to be outside in the cold. Morgan gave me his jacket. and walked me back inside.
I fell and blacked out again this time in the bar, I woke up as I hit the gravel again this time I had Angela and Morgan with me. they get me in the car and I black out. next thing I know I'm struggling for air with the gravel against my face...I guess I bailed out of the car half way home. Morgan tried to get out to help me, but he was pretty drunk too so I think he fell out. I tried my hardest to get myself back into the car. finally angela and morgan got me back in and we stopped at the gas station around the corner. I get out to use the restroom.
I look down at myself as I walk in the double doors and there is blood dripping down my knee, my shoulder is bloody, my hand is bloody and I've got a pretty sweet stagger and limp. I look up at the attendant and we had a moment where he was like "wtf" and I was like "idk"
Angela has zero idea where morgan lives and she starts stressing out, her best friend just blacked out and fell out of a car and she has no idea where in Arizona she is. So Angela calls Alex to google the gas station. and she wants directions from there to morgans house. and morgan gets all upset, "what bro are you giving my info to?" by now both morgs and I can give her point by point directions back to his place but she doesn't trust me to not black out again. so morgs and ange get into a huge fight about his address and this bro on the phone. and I'm standing there in morgans driveway trying to calm him down and angela is on the phone all pissed off.
He argued with angela for a sec and looks over at me for a minute and I tell him to let it go, lock it up and he turns to angela and says, "it was very nice meeting you, thank you for driving me home, have a good night, make sure michelle texts me to let me know you guys got home safely." then he put me in my car and walked away.
Angela hates morgs too now. Happy Birthday Me.
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| 22 and confused |
[05 Dec 2009|02:44am] |
I turned 22 last Sunday.
It was really intense having Angela here, and highly stressful.
Usually when James, Mat and Morgs are being douchebags I let it go, i'm too busy of a person to deal with male drama.
Unfortunately, Angela is not too busy to let it go. When she met James he was at his peak of douchery. And Angela was not pleased with how he was treating me. of course she knew about how he put his hands on me prior to meeting him so she basically already hated him before she walked through the door.
It got worse as the night proceeded. it was Saturday night, the day before my birthday. We went to a country bar where Ange and I felt totally at ease, it's our style, we knew all the songs and we wanted to play pool. James starts his night on Whiskey (So I'm not happy). He talks down to me and Angela...being a smartass and whatever. I stopped drinking after 1/2 a glass of a long island iced tea because I was so annoyed and ready to take him down a few pegs and I wanted to be sober for it, he had 8 drinks over me so he was fucking rediculous.
At midnight, Morg's texts me to wish me a happy birthday. i text him back explaining how this James meeting Angela thing is not going well. Morg's gets ticked or jealous or whatever and says something like 'oh thats shitty, btw idk if i'll make it to your birthday dinner. I know i promised but i'm too tired.'
I'm like, BE THE FUCK REAL! SO I'M FURIOUS! I HATE BROKEN PROMISES! I was really fuming and I let Morg's have it...before he could studder back, I told him to figure his shit out because this is a bush league move and he's just been promoted to President of the bush league nation.
So then low and behold this fucking bar plays some Eric Clapton! and I'm already on the edge of emotions, so I mean really? I can't listen to Eric Clapton without thinking of my grandfather. Angela see's I'm about to lose it, James is completely oblivious..she's trying to talk me down from thinking about it, it doesn't work. James starts asking if he's coming back to my place with me, like I owe him something (and I know he wanted sex). I said no. he was pretty upset and he was giving me a jackass fake smile and I was done.
Right there, in the middle of a hick bar, at 1:30am, on Nov. 29th I called that motherfucker out. Angela walked away. and James and I went back and forth for an hour. We are two of the most quickminded, blut, and sarcastic people. ON TOP OF THAT, he is the only person I've met that can match my 'words that cut like knives' remarks. We were both fuming and after I dominated him with my college educated vocabulary we stood there in silence for like 10 minutes, staring at each other, weighing our next remarks, wanting to punch the shit out of each other. finally, he said "I'll walk home." and I said, "I wasn't going to offer you a ride."
he walked away. I got in the car. Angela asked me what the hell just happened and I said he needs to walk off his selfish attitude...he'll crawl back and apologize when he sobers up.
Sure enough, half a mile down the rode he text me an apology. I am yet to accept his apology. But what we've learned is that I'm a bitch, I'm stubborn, and I demand respect otherwise get the fuck out of my face.
That's the day Angela met James.
In my next post, I will update about the day Angela met Morgan and my birthday dinner that started out in a nice restaurant and ended with Angela fuming, me falling out of a car, and Morgan and Angela arguing.
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| This week, morning, and over all present life is murderering me. |
[14 Nov 2009|01:09am] |
This update is only because I have writers block and I have some important documents that need attention asap, but the lack of focus is frustrating.
okay, it's not really writers block...it's morgan block. All day, everyday it's freakin' morgan. Why am I so infatuated with this guy? Is he really that perfect?
Yes, of course he's annoyingly perfect and of course I chase what I can't have.
When I'm about to lose my job because of a giant safeway vs the union fight, I think of morgan.
When I'm drunk at a bar, i think of morgan.
When my favorite bands are playing...morgan.
When I drive down Cactus or 59th... or walk into a grocery store, or go to Enochs, or order a redheaded slut, or watch the goonies, or hear a violin, piano, trombone, saxophone, harmonica, trumpet, mandolin, or sleep...morgan.
Right now? morgan.
I could be thinking about Mat who still loves me to death, would give me the world and never ask for anything in return. He's always begging to be a bigger part of my life and all i give him is a few hours out of every other week. He couldn't be happier to at least see me from time to time.
Or I could be thinking about James, the wild stallion that would flint for conquest to conquest...until he met me. 4 months of knowing me and I have him graveling at my feet for the committed, his and her towels, picture perfect couple.
Or I could be thinking of Mark. Who does nothing but question everything I'm about. Who spends every moment he can trying to get me into a frenzy. the fight alone is why he's so intriguing.
But nope, no dice. no matter how hard these other boys try...they're never going to be morgan.
I graduate in a few semesters. I sent in a few internship applications for publication reporting. I really want to get in with the New Times for the summer.
In 2012, if all goes according to plan, I should be moving to Boston (off of Boston Common) to attend Emerson. From there I hope to get into one of my top schools Harvard or Yale.
Basically that would make me a freelance writer/entrepreneur/lawyer...so that I can start my own publishing firm that will heavily weigh in on political points, lucky for me I will be a lawyer and thus capable of personally disputing any libel backlash I get for controversial writing and publishing.
Go big or... marry rich and pretend you like yourself for settling.
exactly.
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